Blue pain

I find myself this morning in a state of physical discomfort.
My shoulders are screaming and tight, my back aches like buggery, and my feet are so sore I am no longer on speaking terms with them.  (What do you mean you don't talk to your body parts? - Everybody does it)

"Why Andy?" you might ask (or not if you are a pair of ignored feet), well let me tell you.
I have spent three long days and late nights being me. To be clear; being the person that I love to be, doing the work that I love to do,  and living the life that I love to live.

I have encountered no less than three very fascinating souls, all passionate, all very driven and determined  to be in control of their own destiny and make it what they want it to be.  Three people very much living their own lives and being true to themselves.  Two of whom certainly live off of the edges of the page of conformity, and really wouldn't give a monkeys nut if you like it or not, because it is their choice to do so.

Each of them carry what I am beginning to think of as the 'badge of honour' that seems associated with choosing such a path.  Each of them carry some kind of pain, a small mental box filled with the void of  solitude even when surrounded by people that love them in every sense of the word.  A reminder of why they have become the fascinating souls that they are and why they strive to enjoy each and every day.

Everyone carries the burden and the pain of their life with them every day.  For most it is tethered around them like a long heavy chain.   Some people try to hide it away and pretend it isn't there, but that just makes the chains heavier.  Some people want everyone to see that they have these chains and complain loudly, but that in the end just adds more links to the chain as a result of the effect that they have on the people around them.  Some people simply wrap themselves in the chains and sit in suffering silence as the world goes past them.  Not many people are able to face their pain, free themselves of the heavy chains that drag on their ankles, and place it in a little box and lock it away.  Some people try, and are able to convince themselves that it is in the box, but then they forget to close the lid and at any time it all comes spilling back out again as they lose their balance.

To quote from one of the most talented people I have ever had the pleasure to meet, in a lyric from one of the deepest songs I have ever heard, "The blue pain, fades to a point where it doesn't fade. It stayed blue." - (This Strange Engine - Marillion)

Not many reach the point of closing and securing the box, which is a shame, because the ones that do thrive on the energy and positivity of life itself and make every single day matter.   I'm thinking of getting jackets made - we should form a club  :)